One-Handed Masturbating Pianist, RARE WEIRD+STRANGE LP

$

100

Tamerlane LP 100, 1950s. I hate to use the word RARE, but here's the deal: since finding my own copy of "Seymour Gibbons Plays With Himself" in 1985, I have held in my own hands ONE other copy, which is being presented here for your bidding pleasure. I have only ever HEARD of one other, (apparently trashed) copy. So that's 3 in about 20 years, which qualifies it as...rare. Having established its credentials, the next question you may ask is "Who cares?" To which I would answer, "Anyone who values the offbeat, the fringe, the unusual." In other words, collectors of Weird & Strange vinyl.

You can read the liner notes below to get Seymour's "story" (he and his brother used to play with each other, but since his brother's disappearance Seymour has had to play with himself). The songs speak for themselves:

Once In A While
Imagination
To Each His Own
They Can't Take That Away From Me
Lovely Way To Spend An Evening
When Your Lover Has Gone
That's Entertainment
With My Eyes Wide Open I'm Dreaming
Getting To Be A Habit With Me
I Get Along Without You Very Well
Only Make Believe
Who Needs You

As far as what's on the album: Each track begins with the sound of a zipper unzipping, followed by a jazzy, one-handed rendition of the song. Shortly thereafter the tempo begins to quicken, gets faster and faster, and finally builds to a frenzied climax(!). As the last strains of the final chord fade into the ether, we hear the sound of -- you guessed it -- a zipper being re-zipped. 12 tracks. 12 zippers. We can only assume that it took numerous sessions, spread across several days, to complete the album.

Who was the brainchild behind this classic piece of auto-eroticism? This straight-faced, tongue-in-cheek homage to Onan? And why aren't there more copies around? Maybe there was only a very small pressing. Or perhaps some proto-Family Values censor stumbled across a copy and forced "Tamerlane Records" to destroy its inventory. We may never know. But know this: Seymour Gibbons (whose name, incidentally, might suggest watching monkeys doing their thang) should be the keystone of ANY serious collector's collection of the unserious.

COVER: VG++, some wear and short section of splitting on the bottom seam; very small section of splitting on top; light, very acceptable wear front and back.
LP: Clean VG+++ except for a short but audible scuff across the last part of Track 1 and beginning of Track 2 on Side Two.

This synopsis was typed using TWO HANDS.

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There are many more Very Nice Items in my ebay store in the following genres:

Audiophile * Weird+Strange * Rock * Jazz * Soul/R&B * Spoken Word * Kids & Cartoons * Sex & Nude * Gospel/Religious * World Music / Reggae / Indian * Vocals * Folk * Hawaiian * Instrumental

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Please feel free to compute your own SHIPPING RATES and pay accordingly:
(NOTE: 2 LP sets count as 2 lps, 3 as 3, etc.)
U.S. Media: 1st LP -- $3.75, each additional add $.25
Asia/Australia AIR: 1st LP -- $13.00, each additional add $4
Asia/Australia SURFACE: 1st LP -- $7, each additional add $3
Europe AIR: 1st LP -- $12.00, each additional add $3
Europe SURFACE: 1st LP -- $7, each additional add $3
Canada AIR: 1st LP -- $6.40, each additional add $2
Canada SURFACE: 1st LP -- $6.05, each additional add $1.50
Other AIR: 1st LP -- $13.00, each additional add $4
Other SURFACE: 1st LP -- $7.70, each additional add $3 

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VINYL LIVES! always combines orders to save on postage, and always guarantees the grading of its items. Grading is visual by necessity. (No, it's not because I'm deaf. There just isn't enough time to listen to all this wax.)

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